it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
