This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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