escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
