Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
