I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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