You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize