i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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