Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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