Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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