You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
