operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
even my farts smell like vagina
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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