Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
