Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
