Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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