he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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