My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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