So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
