that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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