Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
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Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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