it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
