Im at strip club and am horny
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
40s are totally the cure
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
