you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize