thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize