Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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