...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
