drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
