Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The best revenge is premature balding
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
