I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
