Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
