he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize