its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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