i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
