So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
