you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
