Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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