if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
