who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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