i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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