Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
