Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
