We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
