Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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