her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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