? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
