omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
