her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
