You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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