so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
