would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
