he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
