you traded sex for a burrito?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
