i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
