You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
