me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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