I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
