Im at strip club and am horny
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize