Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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