he was CRYING into my vagina
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
bring money and cleavage
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Boobs speak an international language.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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