It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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