Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
