Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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