dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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